Mon, April 23, 2018

I Don’t Understand God Sometimes

I don’t understand God sometimes
In fact he almost fools me
Confuses me
Fakes me
Freaks me
Turns me around to the point where
I have no clue which way is up
I don’t understand God sometimes
I don’t get why babies die
From lack of love
And people die
from lack of rain
or from too much of it
I don’t understand why pastors get sick
Or parents die in plane crashes
Or why I can’t seem to beat the pretzel level on Mrs. PacMan
God, I just don’t understand you sometimes

But then there are the quiet times
When rain sings on old leaves
Or geese paint v’s across the clouds
Or the night sky comes out dressed in stars
And I hear you whispering softly to me
I don’t understand you sometimes God,
But there are the happy times,
The worship times,
When you are closer to me than even I am to me
And I hear your voice mingled with mine
When I see worship-joy in student eyes
And I hear truth-words fall from young mouths

I don’t understand you sometimes God,
But then there are the hard times
When it seems like all the world has run away
Or it all is chasing me
Times when the ones that said that they
Liked me
Loved me
Cared for me
Hurt me
And tore open my heart
And I was left feeling lost
And exposed
And most especially
Alone

Until I felt your presence with me
Beside me
Comforting me
Completing me
And I don’t understand you God,
But I know you were there.
I don’t understand you God,
Your ways are not my ways
But I don’t have to understand you to know
that you are God
And I am loved
And that’s enough

1 thought on “I Don’t Understand God Sometimes

  1. Sue says:

    He gives his worst battles to his strongest soldiers to see if they can handle it, if they will still have faith no matter what the outcome. And he will promise to make things better <3

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About Me

I don't have all of the answers and some weeks it feels like I don't have any of the answers. I forget students names sometimes and say stupid things that hurt their feelings. I often find a good word picture or object lesson and build the lesson off of that instead of the other way around. I have put the finishing touches on a Wednesday night Bible study on Wednesday more times than I can count. I don't always pray as much as I should and I never study as much as I should. I try every new youth ministry model that comes from the "experts" and I have had at least 3 mission statements over the past 5 years.

But I love students ministry. I love watching teenagers as they serve God. I love to see them worship and forget about themselves for a while. I love seeing someone wake up to the love of God if only for a little while. I love to see them out serving their community and sharing the love of Christ with others. I love to be a part of their lives and I love seeing the world through their eyes. Like I said, I'm an average youth pastor.

About Nailscars.com

For over 10 years now I have been trying to add creative ideas for use in the local church. In the early days Nailscars.com was just a place to publish some scripts, but it has become a collection of creative ministry resources for youth ministry and worship.

I began writing a blog more to process my own thoughts more than anything else. As I started writing the comments that I got back from people amazed me. As I was honest with my struggles most of them would write and say “Thank you.” “It is just nice to know someone else struggles with these same things,” was a common response.

So this has become a place where I share the struggles and successes of being in youth ministry. I hope that you find something that God can use in your life and ministry.