I Don’t Understand God Sometimes

I don’t understand God sometimes
In fact he almost fools me
Confuses me
Fakes me
Freaks me
Turns me around to the point where
I have no clue which way is up
I don’t understand God sometimes
I don’t get why babies die
From lack of love
And people die
from lack of rain
or from too much of it
I don’t understand why pastors get sick
Or parents die in plane crashes
Or why I can’t seem to beat the pretzel level on Mrs. PacMan
God, I just don’t understand you sometimes

But then there are the quiet times
When rain sings on old leaves
Or geese paint v’s across the clouds
Or the night sky comes out dressed in stars
And I hear you whispering softly to me
I don’t understand you sometimes God,
But there are the happy times,
The worship times,
When you are closer to me than even I am to me
And I hear your voice mingled with mine
When I see worship-joy in student eyes
And I hear truth-words fall from young mouths

I don’t understand you sometimes God,
But then there are the hard times
When it seems like all the world has run away
Or it all is chasing me
Times when the ones that said that they
Liked me
Loved me
Cared for me
Hurt me
And tore open my heart
And I was left feeling lost
And exposed
And most especially
Alone

Until I felt your presence with me
Beside me
Comforting me
Completing me
And I don’t understand you God,
But I know you were there.
I don’t understand you God,
Your ways are not my ways
But I don’t have to understand you to know
that you are God
And I am loved
And that’s enough