Humility in Practice

Characters:
Bob: Door Greeter at Church
Mr. Humble: Brags about how humble he is (can be played by either gender)
Unworthy: Sobs about how bad he is (can be played by either gender)
Needy: is always fishing for more compliments (should be played by a girl)
John: humbly admits he was wrong (can be played by either gender)

The scene: Bob is standing at the door greeting people as they come into church. He tries to compliment them, but he gets some crazy responses and one true picture of humility.

Mr. Humble enters from stage left

Bob: Hey! Good to see you. I saw in the paper where you won the bowling league this year. Congratulations!

Mr. Humble: (he is smiling from ear to ear and talks like a used car salesman) I don’t like to brag, but not only did I win, but I blew away everyone else. No one was even close. But like I said I am humble about this whole thing. In fact I may be the most humble person I know. I do all sorts of things and don’t tell anyone about them. I brake for animals in the street. I don’t rub it in when I am obviously better than someone. I don’t even yell at old ladies when they cut me off in traffic. Did you know any of those things about me.

Bob: well…no…I guess

Mr. Humble: See! I told you I was humble. Good to see you Bob. (leaves stage right)

Bob(looking a little confused) Good to see you too.

 

Unworthy enters stage left

Bob: Good morning! I’m so glad to see you here.

Unworthy: (Sobbing uncontrollably and wailing. He continues walking right past Bob. He continues yelling until he is off stage again.) No you aren’t. No one wants to see me. I am pitiful! I am worthless! I am terrible! I am worse than terrible. I am a toad. I am pond scum that the toad swims in. I am the disease that lives on pond scum that the toad swims in. I am…

Bob: (Genuinely perplexed) Alright, I hope you feel better.

 

Needy Enters

Bob: Good morning! You are looking very lovely this morning.

Needy: Thank you, but I don’t think so.

Bob: Why not?

Needy: I know that I am fat and need to go on a diet.

Bob: No you’re not.

Needy: Yeah I do and this dress just makes it worse.

Bob: I think that dress is great

Needy: This old thing? On top of that my hair is all frizzy and my eyebrows are all bushy.

Bob: I don’t know what you are talking about you are very pretty.

Needy: (sarcastically) Thanks. But I know the truth. (she walks off stage right)

 

John enters slowly stage left 

Bob: (stares after her for a while. When he sees who is coming in next he closes up and looks defensive) Good morning John.

John: Bob, I need to talk you.

Bob: About?

John: I wanted to say that I am sorry. I really wanted to be the greeter for this door and when you got the job I wasn’t very nice to you. I was wrong. I wanted you to know that.

Bob: I haven’t been very nice to you lately either.

John: But I started it. I’m sorry, Bob. (Sticks out his hand)

Bob: (grabs his hand) Apology accepted (he then pulls John forward and gives him a big hug. John walks off and Bob looks towards stage left) Good morning! (fade to black)