Nintendo Gospel

Biblical Basis: Jeremiah 29:11; 1 Peter 2:21;

Possible Points: God can give us instruction, either one at a time, or all at one time. But until we give Him the controls, we will never be successful. He knows all the pitfalls, all the troubles, all the coins, and all the joys, because He wrote the game. He knows the outcome. Give your controller over to God. He’s waiting to lead you.

Characters

Kid (around 10 years old, can be played by someone of any age)

Expert (The idea is that the expert is God, but you don’t have to have God play the part)

Both characters can be played by anyone. It is not necessary to have a 10 years old, and obviously you cannot have God play a part.

Setting: Actors are sitting side by side on chairs facing the audience. Kid is holding a video game controller.

Kid: O.K. now, be sure to tell me where are the hidden stuff is, and warn me if I’m going to get killed, O.K.

Expert: Sure, but I don’t think this will work, here let me guide you.

Kid: No! I want to do it, you keep your hands off and just tell me what’s coming up. (Kid starts “playing” and makes elaborate movements with the joystick that move his entire body.)

Expert: No wait, you missed a coin back there. Stops go back, slowly all right jump. No, you missed it. O.K. right there it’s a free man, jump get it. You almost had it. Etc. (throughout all this Kid keeps getting more and more frustrated.) No jump on the block to the right.

Kid: Are you sure cause Billy said to go under the block.

Expert: Of course I’m sure. Wait! Look-out! Oh, you died.

Kid: I know I died, I think I can tell I died.

Expert: Now don’t get upset, I tried to tell you it wouldn’t work.

Kid: Of course it won’t work, you’re waiting to long to tell me what’s next.

Expert: Well, I have to wait until you get there, You won’t know what I am talking about if I tell you before hand.

Kid: I think I can handle it. Why don’t you just give me all of it at once?

Expert: I still think you should let me guide you.

Kid: I don’t want you to play my game, why don’t you play your own game so I can see how it is done.

Expert: I did that already remember.

Kid: Well I didn’t see it.

Expert: Well I gave you a manual based on that game. It is full of eyewitness accounts of when I played the game.

Kid: I don’t like to read, won’t you just tell me everything in advance.

Expert: O.K. are you ready?

Kid: You bet I’m ready!

Expert: (these lines are delivered very quickly. The exact lines don’t matter as much as the speed, but be sure to hit the cue line) Here goes: walks forward exactly fourteen steps, then jump up this reveals a hidden block. Jump on this block being careful not to hit the turtle walking by. From here jump up slightly to the right, to revel the first mushroom. Chase the mushroom, but don’t forget to jump over the chomping flowers. The hit the ninth block on the upper level, but don’t hit the eighth or the tenth, because this will drop an umpa on your head. The climb over the yellow block under the blue one break the purple one. Watch out for the mighty gork that will be following you. When you get to the maze, turn left, right, jump the turtle, then turn to down-left, then you get to the gramplite. To kill the gramplite jump on his daraticon, And then his libythian…

Kid: Wait a minute, what is a libythian?

Expert: It’s a small round thing sticking out from his matacon.

Kid: Oh.

Expert: then you hop on the purple happernathy, and you’ve completed stage one.

Kid: all that for stage one?

Expert: Stage two is even longer, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Well, are you going to play or not?

Kid: I guess I’m going to play.

Expert: Let me play for you, please.

Kid: No. I can do it. (tries, dies almost immediately.) I still died.

Expert: I’m sorry

Kid: No, you’re not, you’re happy. Go on, say I told you so.

Expert: I did tell you that your way was destined to fail, but I’m not happy you failed. I care about you. Let me have the controller.

Kid: Well, how do I know that you know what you are doing?

Expert: I designed and built the game. Besides, I told you I’ve played before.

Kid: Well, O.K. I guess. (hands Expert the controller, who calmly begins playing. Kid looks on and quietly shows his excitement until the sketch ends.)